Photo by Kathryn Dennen

“Creativity is a process of transformation, of taking things, whether they are physical or intellectual, and turning them into something new.”

The Core Pathways: Creative & Aesthetic Engagement

        Welcome to my Freshman Year.  I’m from Oxford, Connecticut and I arrived on the Fairfield University Campus on September 4, 2011.  That’s me in the picture below, with one of my new best friends (from Orientation) on Move-In Day.  As soon as I arrived at college, a rush of excitement and nerves flooded over me.  I met my roommate, who is now one of my closest friends, and I began a journey that would eventually lead me to where I am today: sitting at my desk as a happy first year student, in awe of the fact that it is already April.  At Fairfield University, I have been inspired over the past year to imagine each day as a new day, full of opportunities ready to be taken.  All it takes is a little creativity to make it happen.  Whether it means decorating your little dorm room to make it your new home away from home, exploring new ideas in an English essay, forming lasting friendships with new people, or crafting makeshift Halloween costumes, creativity is a catalyst to success in college. 

Below you'll find a video starring the Class of 2015 in Freshception! The video (in 3 parts) sums up the awesomeness of Orientation 2011!

Check out the photos below of my dorm room!

I went on the Companions Retreat and made a bunch of new friends! We talked about fears we had coming into school and how we adjusted.  We gave each other advice, shared stories, sang campfire songs, and learned more about each other!

It was an experience I'll never forget!

A group of friends and I dressed up and attended the Cancer Crusher Hoedown! It was fun, we learned line dancing, and proceeds went to a great cause!

This is one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost.  I feel that it truly embodies the path I have chosen to take in life! It is a path of appreciation of life and all of its imperfections! A life of beauty, Faith, creativity, and love!

The Road Not Taken

                         By Robert Frost

I was so excited to be cast in Theater Fairfield's Production of Once Upon a Mattress! Below are a few photos that hardly capture the entire essence of a show that turned out to be so wonderful! The cast grew to be so close and each person came away having been enriched by music, dance, and acting!

My friends and I made our Halloween costumes! We then went Trick or Treating together! We were M&Ms!!

Here are some ticket stubs from a few events I attended at the Regina A. Quick Center for the Arts and  the Webster Bank Arena!

One of my dancer friends invited me to see the Philadanco Dance Company perform at the Quick Center. I wasn't so sure about it at first, because it was a type of dance with which I was quite unfamiliar: Traditional African American Dance combined with Ballet, Modern, and Jazz!  After seeing the show, though, I realized that it's important to open my eyes to new things! The show was exhilarating!

Watch the video below to see one of the dances they performed!

In this essay I wrote for EN12, I addressed an abstract and almost ineffable idea of the truth of "connection".  The assignment required the analysis of two texts assigned in class, as well as two outside sources.  I worked through multiple drafts to present the idea as clearly as possible! Writing this essay not only helped me to express a theory, but it also helped me to really appreciate life and the people I have met.

Kathryn Dennen
EN 12 Texts and Contexts, Professor Breunig
Course Number: 45922/Section: H
26 April 2012
Assignment #3

Alone in the World:

A Comparison Between Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go and

Chekhov’s “The Lady with the Pet Dog”

        Our lives are fitted quite precisely into a construct of time.  Measured by fate, free will, or merely coincidence, events occur day in and day out.  The meaning that we choose to associate with these events is the marker of their significance.  Life is no more than seconds on a clock.  It is air.  Molecules bumping into one another.  Sound waves.  Light passing through a window.  People running into one another on the street.  Accidents.  Mistakes.  New faces.  Strange occurrences.  Connections.  Coincidence, or fate.  Connection defines life – family bonds, the influence of the world, the actions of others— yet, in various readings covered this semester, the meaning of life is brought into question.  Is there any true connection, or is life pre-recorded, and played out as human beings journey to their fate, following a path already set out? Many works convey a sense of connection, yet they are also contradictory in their implication that there is no true connection. Each character has such a different understanding and interpretation of life, as he heads for his own, individual fate, and thus can never really connect with others.

           A large facet of literature strives to present an overarching idea of life as a whole.  As authors attempt to convey a greater meaning of life, they fall back on connection.  Beyond metaphors of love, death, friendship, truth, and so on, there is always something more.  The question, however, is whether it is possible for characters to actually connect.  In Kazuo Ishiguro’s novel, Never Let Me Go, the idea of life being nothing more than a path set out for a Hailsham student stirs questions of fate, free will, and most prominently, connection.  The reader must question his own understanding of life.  Is there really any connection, or do people simply lead their lives in various directions, forming the illusion of connection, though never really connecting?  Is it all a breach of the surface as they make their way to their ultimate, unique fate?

             In Anton Chekhov’s short story, “The Lady with the Pet Dog,” he describes a relationship between a man and his lover, yet while the relationship seems to be “mutual,” it is strangely one sided, as both characters derive distinct meaning from the relationship.  Gurov, who is older than Anna, has led a life “tutored by bitter experience” (Chekhov 140), which is quite different than Anna who, possibly for “the first time in her life…was alone in a setting in which she was followed, looked at, and spoken to for one secret purpose alone” (Chekhov 141).  Although there seems to be an apparent connection when Gurov and Anna meet, it is impossible, as neither Gurov nor Anna see the transpiring events in the same light.  A vast span of experiences leads to a very personalized interpretation of the world as those experiences shape new ideas and mold beliefs:  “As he  “had got[ten] used to the place (Yalta), [and] had also begun to take an interest in new arrivals” (Chekhov 139).  Gurov moves through his life, building upon his own experiences, and gaining new perspective.  Anna, a “new arrival” in Gurov’s life, is merely an addition to the past lovers Gurov has fancied. For Anna, though, her life simply brushes the surface of Gurov’s as she naively searches for meaning in her own experiences.  It becomes more evident as both the story of students from Hailsham, and the story of a man and his lover form “connections,” that their lives may just be playing out individually.  This occurs on levels close to one another, but never quite close enough to be on the same plane to actually connect.  Guarded by interpretation, thoughts, dreams, and understanding, it is almost impossible for people to connect in a world where life is interpreted from such different viewpoints.

           It is clear in Ishiguro’s portrayal of Tommy, that Tommy sees the world differently from both Kathy and Ruth.  Ishiguro’s eloquent language throughout the novel describes what seem to be connections.  For instance, he uses symbolism to imply that it is possible that this inherent “connection” is what is anchoring both Tommy and Kathy in reality: “And so we stood together like that, at the top of that field, for what seemed like ages, not saying anything, just holding each other, while the wind kept blowing and blowing at us, tugging our clothes, and for a moment, it seemed like we were holding onto each other because that was the only way to stop us being swept away into the night” (Ishiguro 274).  With the wind as a metaphor of the same reality that they are trying to hold onto, the two struggle to find solid ground in a world of uncertainty as reality “blows” and “tugs” at them, threatening to pull them into the night; a symbol of the dark unknown.  Even though one might interpret the connection between Tommy and Kathy as holding them steadfast in reality, it is not an actual “connection.”  Rather, it is an expression of an interpretation of reality that just so happens to overlap with another person’s understanding; therefore, giving the appearance of a connection on a shared level.

            In a collection of writings on connection, Nikki M. Fedele sheds light upon the subject of connection in relation to an underlying paradox: “In the face of profound yearnings for connection and in order to connect to the only relationships available, we develop strategies that keep more and more of ourselves out of connection…This paradox is also at the heart of a group experience” (Fedele 194).  Fedele goes on to further elucidate this paradox by examining group experiences, such as a therapy or support groups for battered women or coalitions like Mothers Against Drunk Drivers (MADD).  She explains that by joining together, these women form a relationship that is catalyzed by “the desire for genuine, responsive, and gratifying connections and the need to maintain strategies to stay out of connection,” which is “the pivotal experience of group therapy” (Fedele 202), but implies that it is questionable whether or not these are authentic, “connections.”  It depends, then, on the most valid definition of connection to support either the claim that these are connections, or that they are simply an analysis of another’s experience in relation to one’s own, and thus an overlap of emotion and/or understanding.  Fedele identifies the experience of connection as one of the three relational concepts paramount to group experience:  “The experience of connection […] a joining in relationship between people who experience each other’s presence in a full way and who accommodate both the correspondence and contrast between them” (201).  According to this definition, true connection would be present in both Ishiguro’s novel, and Chekhov’s short story.

            Contrary to Fedele’s definition, upon close analysis of both texts, it is hinted that as a result of such a wide breadth of interpretation of life, even life in its simplest form, humans cannot connect on the same level.  In “The Lady with the Pet Dog,” Chekhov uses the third person limited omniscient point of view, which provides the reader with a view of the world structured only by Gurov’s thoughts. Through this, it is brought to the reader’s attention that both Gurov and Anna, are searching for different meaning within the relationship: “Gurov was already bored with her; he was irritated by her naïve tone, by her repentance, so unexpected and so out of place; but for the tears in her eyes he might have thought she was joking or play acting” (Chekhov 143).  Here, Gurov implies that this love affair is merely a way of fulfilling a desire for female attention, as “sitting next to a young woman who in the dawn seemed so lovely, Gurov, [was] soothed and spellbound by these magical surroundings…” (Chekhov 144).  On the other hand, Anna expresses a much different understanding of the relationship.  Contrasting Gurov’s words of how she was “beautiful,” “seductive” and it was “urgently passionate,” Anna is much more emotionally attached: “She complained that she slept badly, that she had palpitations, asked the same questions, troubled now by jealousy and now by the fear that he did not respect her sufficiently” (Chekhov 144).  Both characters have a unique idea of this “relationship,” and both look for something different to come from it, resulting in no formal connection, but rather a selfish search for self-satisfaction aligning with each character’s own interpretation and understanding of the circumstances.

            In analyzing the significance of the formation of relationships in Ishiguro’s novel, an article in Contemporary Literary Criticism states: “A meditation on morality and the fragility of life, Never Let Me Go also reflects Ishiguro’s preoccupation with memory in its depiction of relationships forged during childhood and youth” (2).  It is worth noting that in a struggle to produce a piece of literature that in someway describes life in its complexity, authors make an effort to proliferate the idea of human connection because even if true connection is not possible, attempted connection is still worth the effort.  These authors seem to be saying that an attempt to connect is the only means by which humans can keep a foothold in such an expansive reality, even if it is not through true connection.  This is clear in Never Let Me Go as Ishiguro uses a foreign subject (clones) to further clarify the importance of connection in the grand scheme of life: “His attention remains fixed on intimate things—on the small social grouping within a school, on the nuances of personal relationships.  The larger world remains a distant, blurred backdrop, and is brought into focus only at the end.  What holds our attention before then is the way Ishiguro uses the subject of cloning to focus on questions of human existence” (“Kazuo Ishiguro (1954-)” 132).  An abyss of unknown is not only present in the characters’ lives in Ishiguro’s novel, but also in our own world.  In both our world and the world of the novel then, the matching factor is connection, as it seems to be the only element that stands as a steadfast tie between what is known in life and what is not. 

           In a world of endless unknown, a boundless field of knowledge, and an ocean of inexplicable occurrences, humans only live to understand a small percentage of the world around them and as a result, full connections are never made.  There is no way to ever completely understand the perspective of another human being.  Understanding another would imply living his life down to the things he says and does from day to day, as his every move determines his fate.  Even in contact with another person, he sees the world filtered through a net of his own experiences and thoughts unique to his own life path.  A “surface understanding” of the other person can be reached, but there is still an absence of absolute connection, as humans see and understand the world to the extent of their knowledge.  No human retains the same knowledge in the same way, organized in the same order, and understood in the same context.

            Contrary to the possibility of humans never really seeing eye to eye, both Chekhov and Ishiguro seem to suggest that striving for connection is still a valiant effort.  In Never Let Me Go Ishiguro uses distinct imagery to depict the greater forces of nature that work against connection: “I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it's just too much. The current's too strong. They've got to let go, drift apart. That's how it is with us. It's a shame, Kath, because we've loved each other all our lives. But in the end, we can't stay together forever” (Ishiguro 282).  As the water, a symbol of the vastness of the world, works to pull them farther and farther apart, Kathy and Tommy have continued to love each other…a genuine attempt to connect on the closest level possible.  Despite the forces at work, it appears that Ishiguro emphasizes the importance of connection nonetheless, as the novel thrives on relationships.  Through vivid imagery, and marked by powerful symbolism, Ishiguro’s novel depicts the paradox of connection.  Although they do not connect on the same level, the apparent connection that the Hailsham students do hold on to keeps them anchored in reality.  In the final scenes of The Lady With the Pet Dog, even the narcissistic Gurov lets his guard down and begins to reach out to Anna on a closer level of understanding.  In the following quote from Chekhov’s short story, the fence may be interpreted as a symbol of the obstacles that prevent humans from every really connecting: “He kept walking up and down and hated the gray fence more and more, and by now he thought irritably that Anna Sergeyevna had forgotten him, and was perhaps already diverting herself with another man, and that that was very natural in a young woman who from morning till night had to look at that damn fence” (Chekhov 148).  These instances illustrate an effort to connect as characters struggle to understand the world, as they, as well as others, perceive everyday life.  In this, authors succeed in conveying an aerial view of life by implying that life is about striving to make connections anyway, even if humans can never exactly see eye to eye.  After all, without even the slightest leap towards connection, what is there but a world of unknown, that simply exists—void of meaning?

Works Cited

Chekov, Anton. “The Lady with the Pet Dog.” Literature to Go. Ed. Michael Meyer.

            Boston and New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2011. 139-152. Print.

Fedele, Nikki M., “Relationships in Groups: Connection, Resonance, and Paradox.”

            Complexity of Connection. Ed. Judith V. Jordan, Maureen Walker, and Linda 

            M. Hartling. New York: The Guilford Press, 2004. 194-220. Print.

Ishiguro, Kazuo. Never Let Me Go. United States: Vintage Books, 2005. Print.

"Kazuo Ishiguro (1954-)." Contemporary Literary Criticism. Ed. Jeffrey W. Hunter.

            Vol. 219. Detroit: Thomson Gale, 2006. 1-157. Literature Criticism Online.

            Gale. Fairfield University. 18 April 2012 <http://galenet.galegroup.com

            /servlet/LitCrit/a04fu/FJ2684750002>

Throughout the year, I've continued to dance! I've been dancing for 17 years, so I had to find creative ways to dance and balance my busy schedule! Besides dancing in the musical Once Upon a Mattress, I danced in the Dance Ensemble, and I also choreographed a dance to "All That Jazz" (from Chicago) for the 7th Annual Talent Show!

Below you'll find a video premiered at the Dance Ensemble Show "Spotlight" and a video of one of the rehearsals for the Talent Show!

I'm looking forward to my Sophomore Year at Fairfield University! I hope to participate in community service through Campus Ministry! I recently had a meeting with one of the directors of the community service branch and I anticipate that next semester I will be writing letters to a pen pal at an inner city school, as well as visiting an after school program!

I have a "quote board" on the door to my dorm room. Each day I write something different. Sometimes it's a quote, sometimes it's just one of my thoughts, and other times it's simply a word, like "Smile!"

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong."

Joseph Chilton Pearce

 

You know those inspirational billboards you see on the highway? The ones that range from pictures of Mother Theresa to Kermit the Frog to Jackie Robinson? I find them to be so moving. I always see those three words and it reminds me to continue to aim to be a better person, helping others as much as I can, smiling, and loving life for what it is: Pass It On. One day, I saw a commercial with a value-theme. It wasn't a food advertisement, or a new car premiere, it was simply an expression of how far a simple act of kindness can go, and how much an ounce of courage can make a difference, or perservation, or dreams... The commercial promoted values.com, the same sponsor as the Pass It On billboards! I visited the site soon after. Check out for yourself how awesome it truly is! www.values.com 

This is going to be a good life, my friends!

Keep smiling!

The path is yours to make and then yours to follow.

Be creative.

Be You.

Be in love with life itself.

Life is not simply wonderful because of the things you do, but more so because of the meaning you derive from those things.

"Go forth boldly in the direction of your dreams; live the life you've imagined."

Henry David Thoreau